Kamijou's Dreamland Adventures
by UrsaMJR
Summary: Be cautious with your prescription drugs people, always make sure you read the fine print. Unlike Kamijou Touma. Who, by not doing just that, falls into a deep sleep where his wildest fantasies become reality. Lucid dreams are interesting indeed. So take a look into the mind of our sleeping beauty, and his most sacred desires.


"Seriously now, I feel that your rate of admittance is a bit high for someone claiming to be nothing but a normal highschool boy."

Heaven Canceller, the famous doctor of the District 7 hospital entered a certain patient's room carrying nothing but a clipboard and pen in one hand, all the while chastising the usual sight of the boy found within one of the white cots of the aforementioned room.

The boy, more commonly known as Kamijou Touma, the troublesome boy all the nurses seem so charmed with, laid in bed with a dejected look on his face once the words of the Gekota doctor reached him.

"Trust me Doc, I'm trying. It's not like I have any say in how badly I want a crazed esper to pummel me into the ground." The spiky-haired teen used his right hand to scratch at his head in mild annoyance, it was the only limb that sustained minimal damage in his escapade of the Academy City alleyways in pursuit of a purse snatcher/ telekinetic esper/ Olympic athlete.

"But you do have a say in if you want to involve yourself with things like that. It's not a responsibility you have to uphold." The uncaring doctor took some time to check the boy's vitals, scribbling down a few details on his clipboard before disconnecting the various machines attached to the teen.

"I won't just sit still and watch a thief make away with someone's property. I'm no hero, but I'm not going to stand by and do nothing when I can help."

"Hmm...Is that so?" Heaven Canceller absentmindedly replied. Silently rounding up the equipment previously attached to the boy.

"Well, even if you can't, you should still try not to get beaten by a trash can, chased by Anti-Skill dogs, and run over by a semi trailer."

The events of his misfortune being repeated to Kamijou did not bode well for his self image. Once again, shattering more of his belief of ever living a normal highschool life.

"I almost felt myself become an Isekai protagonist. That is an experience I do not wish to have, thank you very much."

"Well, there is good news. Beside the multiple compound fractures, a broken collarbone, internal and external bruising, a few nasty dog bites of which I'm still unsure how none of them punctured your cranium-..."

"Hehehehehe…..I guess experience breeds resilience... Such Misfortune.."

"-and the muscle fatigue of running a few laps around most of District 10, part of District 7 and swimming upstream a river, which will cause a series of periodic cramps until the lactic acid properly dissipates, good luck with that, I see no problem with you and you're free to leave at your leisure."

"Who the hell can feel comfortable enough to leave immediate care with a list like that!? Aren't you a doctor!? Don't you think this Kamijou-san should receive more attention to his very dire set of injuries that have him bandaged from head to toe!?" The boy gave a wail of heartfelt concern at the frog-faced practitioner's calm demeanor concerning his current situation.

To make it clear. Kamijou Touma was laying on the bed of one District 7 hospital, aptly named: A Certain Hospital. That was not all, as the raven haired teen was bound with gauze across his head, covering most of the nicks, cuts and bites along the surface of his scalp with the bottom of his jaw being treated much the same from the small fracture it sustained.

His left arm was in a sling, having a large wrapping of bandages across his collar to keep the bone of his broken collarbone in place. His fingers being taped together in a salute, making sure the multiple fractures in them didn't get agitated. With all of that, he also traded the usual hospital gown he would be wearing to go topless, as much of his upper body was bruised and kept cool by the various ice bags strewn atop of him. Lastly, his legs had the lower half of the usual hospital gown hiked up them. Revealing the still twitching calf muscles, covered in more ice bags, as a result of his athletic feats.

All of this served to give the boy a ridiculous appearance, where most of his body was more mummy and Iceman, than it was skin.

"You're healthy enough to yell, so the internal bruising in your lungs would have subsided mostly, your previous bouts of erratic movement in response to the nurse attempting to feed you Miso soup. She won't be charging you the drycleaning for her uniform and underwear by the way, tell me you're already attuned to your muscle fatigue, and as for the rest. Nothing a crutch couldn't fix." Heaven Canceller, having finished compiling the various machinery in the room, stood by the unlucky boy and gave him a small smirk unbefitting a professional.

"Unless, you'd like to stay and pay for the rest of your hospital stay which, if I may remind you, is not covered by the usual student insurance."

The dreadful words from the Gekota like doctor sent an invisible spike through the bruised chest of Kamijou. "The world of healthcare is an unforgiving one… Sigh, fine. Although I'm still having some pain in my shoulder and head, it's really aggravating."

"Hmm...well, I'll prescribe you a painkiller for that, should be better than having to rely on your usual-unusual resilience to pain."

"What are you implying? Are you saying this Kamijou is some sort of closeted masochist!?"

The frog-faced doctor never replied, as he simply gave the boy a small slip of paper and a bottle of pills he pulled from his pocket. "Follow the schedule written on the paper, don't take more than 2 a day. If by chance, your pain was to increase or you experience some unwanted side effects, come see me again. That is all." After handing the boy the packet of pills and the note, he headed for the door. But not before Kamijou made him pause at the doorway.

"Unwanted side effects? Should I be worried this is some experimental, military grade opioid?"

Heaven Canceller turned back to the boy, an amused look adorning his frog like features. "Who do you think I am? I wouldn't willingly experiment on my patients. Not within your knowledge that is…" He muttered the last part to himself.

"I heard that!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Anyway, take care Kamijou. See you soon." With that, the doctor closes the door, leaving Kamijou to himself.

"Is that what you're supposed to say to a patient? Sigh…" He relaxed his tense body, slightly wincing from the pain that caused before taking a look at the small bottle left behind.

"I better not start growing a tail…"

* * *

"Ngh...shit, this is harder to handle than the last time I had these." Kamijou Touma was now outside of the hospital building struggling with the crutches he was given, having both checked out of the building and bid farewell to the staff he's grown accustomed to seeing throughout his stays there.

The whole ordeal was uneventful, but one of the nurses had come up to him to speak on behalf of her colleague. Namely, the nurse he had drenched in Miso soup a few hours earlier.

The one who approached him wanted to pass on a message from her friend. The exact words were:

"...I forgive you for the clothes. But you'll have to take responsibility for what you did after…"

Unsurprisingly, hearing that from a female left the poor boy pale as a sheet. And once the nurse left his side he was left to hobble out of the hospital with curses at his misfortune trailing behind him.

Now, having descended the staircase off the premises with great difficulty, he made his way to his morning classes. His stay at the hospital being one that lasted him the whole of the evening and had ended quite early in the morning. Being the unlucky guy that he was, even great injury came second to his attendance. One that was slowly degrading as the year crawled on.

So, the ever pitiful Kamijou continued with his uncomfortable hobble to school. The crutches slowing his step.

"I swear, one of these days I'll get a driver's license. This is killing my shoul- Ah! Fucking cramp!" He unceremoniously tumbled to the ground, his leg muscles spasming for a moment and leaving him to lay on the sidewalk, clutching both his cramping calf and throbbing shoulder interchangeably with his one good arm.

"What has this poor Kamijou-san done to deserve the spite of whatever deity there is up there!"

**_*Riiiiiiing~*_**

His cries of misfortune were silenced by a single ringtone. Pulling out the ringing device while clenching his teeth from the continuous pain, he answered the call.

"Hello, you've reached the universe's favourite punching bag, Kamijou Touma."

"_Glad to see you're in high spirits, Human."_

"Othinus?...well this is convenient timing…"

_"Hm?"_

"Oh nothing, nothing. Anyway, what's up?"

_"Well, since you decided not to call after getting discharged-..."_

"How did you-"

_"I have my ways of knowing. Anyway, as I was saying. Since you didn't bother to remember, you disappeared yesterday and never got back with the evening dinner. So I'm just making sure you're prepared for the wrath that gluttonous nun will inflict upon you when you get back."_

A silent tear ran down Kamijou's face, fearing the increase to the list of injuries he already has piled up.

"I'll never get a break will I? Ow-! Shitty shoulder…"

_"Why are you in pain Human?"_

"Oh, you know. The usual. Broken bones, bruises. The works."

_"How many times do I have to teach you about the importance of thinking before acting? You're truly an idiot."_

"Yeah, yeah… your lectures are much appreciated Othinus-sensei."

_"Hmph...just don't get hurt more. Got it? Or that ear you're using is coming off."_

"Threatening to hurt me more if I get hurt myself. How sadistic, Sensei, and bad practice for an educator like yourself."

A soft chuckle came to the lips of the downed Kamijou.

_"Just come home soon, Human."_

"Yeah, just need to finish classes. Don't get too jealous of someone else stealing your pupil."

_"You're pushing your miniscule bit of luck, Human."_

A soft click ended the call, Kamijou staring at the screen of his phone for a little while before breaking into a smile.

"Honestly, that girl…"

Pocketing his phone once more he lifted himself off the ground. Starting his painful trek to school once again.

* * *

"Haaaah...haaah….made...it…" With heated breath, Kamijou stepped onto the grounds of A Certain High School. Before him, the raised pathway that ascended towards the school itself.

"Fuck...I forgot…Ahhh...how am I going to get up there in time? Sigh, my body is killing me."

He rested his back against the gate of the school grounds. Regaining what energy he had lost. He pondered for a moment, before reaching into his pocket for the small bottle of pills the Doc had given him.

"Might as well. I can't take this shoulder pain anymore."

He popped the cap of the bottle and awkwardly pulled out a little white pill. He couldn't use his other hand, so he had to make do by grabbing the thing with his knees and reaching in with his free hand.

With the pill in hand, he tossed it into his mouth and swallowed. Not having any water on him to do so smoothly, causing him to cough in response.

"Urgh...that tastes like shit for some reason. I really hope these are not some Academy City super pills that give you superpowers in exchange for a bit of brain damage. Trusting you on this one Doc." With that, the boy made his way up the hill.

A few minutes later he came to a stop at the top of hill, out of breath, sweating and in pain he addressed the building in front of him.

Finally! His goal was in sight.

"Kamijou-kun?"

"Ah!" The suddenness of the voice startled the boy, making him leap off of his crutch and somehow tangling it between his legs promptly falling on his ass.

"Ow Ow Ow… Hey, that hurts a lot less… Huh, those pills work fast?"

"Are you alright Kamijou-kun?" The voice once more revealed itself. Himegami Aida stood above the boy with her hand outstretched, she peered down curiously at him, or as curiously as her stone-faced demeanor could muster while she pulled him up.

"Yeah, I'm fine Himegami." Replied the boy, dusting himself off a second time today.

"Did you just get discharged from the hospital?" Came a blunt question from the girl.

"Yeah, I couldn't afford to skip class so I pulled myself to school. It was a hassle…" His head hung limply, ashamedly looking towards the ground.

"I-...I could help you to class if you want?" This was her chance!

"Ah, err...I don't know, I don't want to bother you."

"No, I insist Kamijou-kun. You look like you're about to keel over any minute." Yes, lay it on thick Himegami. This is your moment to capture his heart with the helpful classmate route!

On the other front, Kamijou was recoiling in his soul from the blunt words the girl spoke about his condition. "W-Well, if you say so."

_'Score!'_ The externally stoic girl cheered in her head.

With a helping hand, Kamijou found it easier to manage his walk. Although, having a silent beauty like Himegami clutching his side to help steady him didn't go down well with the many male students they passed.

A majority of them were well aware of the effect Kamijou had on the female populace. Many of them threw their harsh gaze toward the boy. Which served to make the previously more comfortable walk that much more unsettling.

Even the girls he passed by sent many glares in his direction.

_'Why me...?'_

He sweated buckets. Something unrelated to his physical struggle but more so his concern about the possible future injuries he'd sustain should he set the various students off.

Finally, he had arrived to his classroom. Himegami being of great help to guide his weak self there. Though the constant mutterings about 'routes', 'galges' and whatnot, uneased him.

The girl had left him to get to his seat by himself. She thanked him, which confused him more but nevertheless he hobbled over to the back most seat by the window. Resting his tired body after an excruciating travel.

"At least those pills are working. And I don't feel like spontaneously combusting, so that's a plus."

His mumblings were interrupted when a hand slammed atop his desk, drawing his eyes and his bubbling ire towards the blue haired Aogami Pierce who was the culprit of that rude action.

Pierce stood with his eyes closed as always. Although his eyes were less than expressive, he showed a vivid displeasure upon his features. Something he seemed to want to express to the boy in front of him.

"Kami-yan." He started slowly.

"Yes, Aogami?" Kamijou cocked a brow, slightly on edge due to the bluenette's contradictory tone of voice. Something that did not match with the previous violent slam of his hand.

"How could you!!" This time the pierced boy slammed both of his hands on the desk with a shout to boot.

_'There it is.'_ Sighed the misfortune magnet.

"What exactly, Aogami?"

"You know what you're doing!" He accused his spiky-haired classmate of something Kamijou was not all too certain of.

"Save your delusions to yourself, youpervert. I don't have an ounce of energy left to argue with you." Kamijou was heavily against wasting his time discussing whatever thing had popped into Aogami's mind. The experience he had with the boy in question left him well prepared to shoot down any sort of claim he might make

"You're so cruel Kami-yan. Aogami is just trying to tell you about his troubles. What kind of friend denies another that opportunity, nya~?" From right beside the unlucky teen, came another more annoying voice. That of the chesire smiling Tsuchimikado. As always, wearing his trademark glasses that prevented anyone to peer into his shady looking eyes.

"I don't want to hear about the power of friendship from someone who regularly gasses my dorm room."

"Pssh~ don't dwell on the past too much Kami-yan. You need to look to the present, nya~." The double agent waved off his comment nonchalantly, kicking his feet up onto the desk before the blue haired Aogami continued his tirade.

"The present time being the necessary criminal trial for your crimes against manhood and humanity in general. Your accursed Disease knows no bounds. And now you're trying to boost its effectiveness with the "Injured Protagonist" Route!? You must pay for your transgressions!"

"I don't want to hear it from you or that Nyan Nyan bastard! I had to walk from the hospital all the way here, my legs are sore, they hurt and the only thing that's giving me some semblance of comfort is the fact I got here on time! So zip it, and leave me be!"

Tsuchimikado gave the spiky-haired boy another one of his cheeky grins, while Aogami straightened himself to view Touma from a more condescending angle.

"So, the act continues...We shall see Kami-yan, mark my words. I will stop your crusade on the hearts of the world's female population. MARK MY WORDS YOU VILLAIN!" With such a heavy promise, the blue haired boy wore a stone like face to match his resolve. He crossed his arms and sat down ahead of Tsuchimikado. His very image was that of a man, determined to complete the task he set for himself.

Kamijou really wondered what had compelled him to hang out with these idiots in the first place. He turned his head, looking out the window with a tired yawn leaving him.

Then he felt a poke to his right hand.

"Psst...Kami-yan, I forgot my textbook. Could I borrow yours?" The blue haired delinquent asked him in a casual way.

"What happen to me being your enemy?"

"Did I say that? I don't remember, it's probably just your overactive imagination. So, how about it ol' buddy ol' pal? Could you lend me the book?"

In response, Kamijou simply rose his middle finger.

Before the the blue haired pervert could make a retort, a cutesy voice interrupted him.

"Good morning my cute little students!" Komoe-Sensei had entered the classroom. She walked to the podium and climbed the stack of books she used to see over the taller structure.

"Good morning Sensei!" Chanted the classroom.

"Kamijou-chan, I see you've joined us today. A bit worse for wear as usual." The small teacher addressed our favourite misfortune magnet.

"...as usual she says…"

"Since Sensei will be busy this week, you'll be having your regular remedial classes after school ends. Another teacher has already volunteered to take up my role, so you'll be in good hands."

"B-But, my free time? I need to cook for that monster back home, I can't be held up that late!"

"You should've thought about that before you racked up the single largest missed attendance record in this school. So don't pout, because you've deserved it."

"Y-Yes Sensei…" The poor boy found his injured head leveling with his desk.

"Now, let us get back on schedule. In preparation for the test-" This earned the little teacher some groans from the students. "-we'll be reviewing the basics of AIM fields and their properties during mass congregation. To begin, we'll first address-..."

As the lecture continued, Kamijou kept struggling with staying awake. The combination of Komoe's dull lecture, and the fact he had exhausted himself on his way here made him very sleepy. Usually he could fend off the sleep his brain desires. But for some reason he felt really unenergetic.

So sleepy was he, that he ignored the majority of the lecture as he proceeded to lay his head onto his desk. His eyes staring forward barely being able to stay open.

The picture of the bored class and his loli teacher started to fade, as his mind continued to grow more tired. He yawned silently. And after a few more moments of fighting his drowsiness, he finally fell asleep.

* * *

Kamijou woke up, finding himself laying in a small pool of his own saliva.

With a displeased grunt he pushed himself off the table, wiping the spit off of his face with his hand.

"I hope I don't do that often…" He groaned to himself as he stretched his arms above his head. "Mmmm~ that felt...good. Wait a minute! Did I oversleep, what time is it?"

The frantic boy stared out the window, finding a red and orange hue painting the sky, with many light posts in the distance having turned on as par with their automatic nighttime sensor.

"Shit, it's already getting late. Ahhh!! And I must have missed my remedial classes by now!" He stood to his feet quickly.

Looking around Kamijou was greeted with an empty classroom. Seeing no other student in their seats told him he truly had overslept way past the end of school hours.

Which meant…

"Index is going to kill me…."

"Ahem…" A cough reached his ears. But as Kamijou scanned the surrounding seats he saw noone in them. No student or blue haired pervert that sat to his right.

So...where did it come from...

Then, his eyes landed on the teacher's podium.

And what he saw. Who he saw. Made his jaw drop.

"Mr. Kamijou, I'm sure you have a good explanation for sleeping through my class."

'_That voice…'_

"Since Miss Komoe so kindly asked me to tutor you in her place, I expect you to pay attention."

'_That judgemental gaze…'_

"Seriously, you're just wasting my time at this point."

_'The way she looks down on me in disappointment...'_

_It's…_

The person sighed. Walking towards the desk by their side with a noticeable clack to their step, courtesy of their black heels. They pulled out the office chair that stood behind the desk, sitting themselves down on the seat and crossing their legs, laced with a thin black pair of stockings that caught the light of the room in such a way that they made the already shapely, slender legs of their owner, shine.

_It's…_

The person adjusted the hem of their matching pencil skirt. Their dainty hands adjusting the length of the outfit which hugged their curvaceous hips and plump behind. They brushed the golden locks of their long hair off their shoulders. Draped by a white, long sleeved blouse which hugged their modest chest. A single button having been undone to show off their sculpted clavicle.

_It's…_

Their long, golden locks of hair framed a beautiful face adorned with one visible, brilliantly green eye, whilst the other was hidden behind a piece of their golden mane.

Lips the colour of cherries, a complexion pale as snow. It was..

"O-Othinus!?" The rightfully confused boy shouted.

"Yes? Did your little beauty rest give you amnesia? And please refer to me as Sensei. We're not on a first name basis Mr. Kamijou."

The sharp and blunt tone of the golden girl was unmistakably the goddess of war he knew.

But, how? The Othinus he knew was the size of his palm, yet the one before him stood, or rather, sat at her original size.

How could this happen? Was this an illusion?

He touched his head to be sure, but the sight of the full sized Magic God did not disappear. In fact, it only caused her to contort her beautiful features into a scowl.

"Stop gaping at me like a fish and take a seat. My patience is wearing thin with your antics."

"Y-Yes Othinus-"

A stern look made him rephrase his words.

"Yes, Sensei." He sat down at his desk, he now had time to ponder his current situation.

Othinus. The one eyed goddess he fought the world for. The same one that had turned into a 15cm fairy, was now sitting at a teacher's desk in all her glory, scribbling something down in her open notebook.

His eyes unconsciously travelled down her attractive form, being captivated by the unusual yet welcomed sight of the goddess in something more than her usual bondage-like outfit.

He took a good long look at her dangling legs, something he had to remind himself not to do once the girl shifted in her seat and broke his concentration on her physique.

"...this is a dream...it has to be. My remedial teacher can't be Othinus…" The unlucky boy held his head in deep thought, trying not to panic about the implications her full size brings to the forefront of his mind.

_'Does the UN know? Is this some form of repayment for her crimes? Is she being forced to do community service?'_

He lifted his gaze to the blonde, taking one look at her outfit and remembering how she addressed him.

_'It seems she doesn't remember me. Could this be the work of another Magic God then? Unlikely, Kamisato took care of them all.'_

The very confused and worried Kamijou shook his head to rid himself of the dire possibilities. He couldn't afford to let himself lose focus.

Right now, he just has to work with what's happening. He has to see where the situation will take him and this hot and sexy sensei of his.

_'She does have really nice legs. NO! Stay focused Kamijou! You can't let your teenage heart be tempted by this blonde bombshell and her tender looking legs that shine so well in- FOCUS!'_

While Kamijou was fighting his hormonal brain, the tightly dressed Othinus stood up from her seat. She turned to the boy with something in her hand. A riding crop.

_'WHAT IS THIS CHEAP PORNO SCENE BEGINNING IN FRONT OF ME!!!!???'_

"Now, Mr. Kamijou. Due to your delinquent nature, you decided to ignore most of my lecture. For that you'll be punished accordingly."

Kamijou gulped nervously, frightened by the thoughts of his possible punishment at the hand of a previous God of war.

"Stand up." She commanded with a stern voice.

"Yes!" He quickly obeyed.

The girl started her approach, arms crossed with the leather crop sticking out of her hand. The clack of her heels only made the boy more nervous.

She stopped an arm's reach in front of him, her stern expression still set on her face, with the crop being a concerning focus for the spiky-haired boy.

"Who's the current president of the USA?"

"Huh?" The quick question that camenout of nowhere, caught the boy off guard.

"Wrong." She took the riding crop out of her crossed arms and struck him across his upper thigh.

"Ow! The hell was that for!?" Kamijou quickly covered his sore spot, rubbing the area from the throbbing sting the riding crop gave him.

"Your punishment. As the merciful educator I am, I'm giving you a chance not to get punished. Answer correctly and you'll be spared." Stated the blonde matter-of-factly.

"What kind of education system permits this type of cruel and unjust behaviour!?"

"My system. Next question." Othinus dismissed Kamijou's concerns and proceeded her questioning.

"How much resistance would an electric current of 50V face while traveling through a one metre rod of copper?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know that!?" Kamijou protested against, in his opinion, an unfair question.

"It's basic level science." The goddess turned teacher struck again, this time across his other leg and once more across his left side.

"Ow! Ow! Why did you hit me twice!?"

"Use of crude language during class."

"You know you're beating on an injured person!?" Wailed the still stinging misfortune magnet.

Though, now that he said it, he wasn't feeling the pressure of gauze on his head, or the strap of his sling across his neck. Now that he looked closer, he was completely untouched.

Save for his current circumstance.

_'What..?'_

"You seem pretty healthy to me. Bad excuses won't save you from your own doing. Next question." With a heartless comment the girl stepped closer, straining the flexible shaft of the riding crop.

"Tell me. The quote: "To be or not to be? That is the question." Comes from which famous English play?"

"Hamlet! Haha! Kamijou-san knows that one!" With a broad smile on his face, Kamijou happily shuffled around the spot.

But he was quickly stopped when a crack of the crop struck him across the back when he spun around.

"Ah! Shit! W-Wait no I'm sorry Sense- Ow! What did I do in the first place!?"

He fell to his knees while holding his sore back, craning his head backwards to glare at the ruthless punisher.

"You were dancing around like a brainless monkey. Don't get too excited, you still have a lot more to answer." She ran the crop against her hand, pushing the boy to stand with the sharp heel on her foot.

"Okay, okay I'm up! I swear, any semblance of masochism I had was rung out of me just now. Kamijou-san does not enjoy this sort of play..."

"Next question. Most of the modern Norse mythology we know today, was derived from which two books?" While the girl was not taller than the pained boy, the high heels she wore gave her the necessary boost to level with his blue eyes.

She stared back at him with her one uncovered eye, boring holes in the confidence of the boy.

"U-Uhm, the Poetic Eda and...and...umm…" He stumbled on his thoughts, struggling to remember the thing the very same person had taught him a few weeks ago.

_'I have failed you tiny Othinus…'_

And with that, another crack of pain struck his upper thigh. The worst part being her deadly accuracy in striking the very same spot, over and over.

"Close, but you fail again."

"Nnnn…." Kamijou grumbled under his breath, the needling sensation on his leg hurt like hell and her all too casual use of force really rubbed him the wrong way.

_'Why couldn't it be her legs that rubbed up aga- I thought I expelled my masochistic side!? Why am I getting turned on!?'_

"Ok, ok, can we end this already? I've learned my lesson, I promise." Said the boy in a very unconvincing manner.

"Is that so? I don't believe you Mr. Kamijou. I've dealt with many of your kind. Delinquents with radical hairstyles, lax behaviour towards the school rules and a nonchalant attitude in class. Believe me, I understand you quite well."

_'For once, hearing that from her does not fill me with a tingly feeling.'_

"It's not my fault that I-"

"What part of the atom has no electric charge." Not bothering to listen, the ruthless tyrant continued her punishment game.

"Neutron!" Like clockwork, Kamijou answered. The beating his leg acquired forcing the answer out of him. The fear of her tool of choice being of greater priority than his pride.

"In what part of the body can you find the femur?"

"Leg!" He was like a trained soldier. His attention purely dedicated to his drill sergeant. That being the tyrannical Othinus.

Still, a strike from her riding crop met his leg.

"Ow! B-But I got it right!" Complained the wounded soldier.

"You did, I was just making sure you knew where it was."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?..." He asked in a flat tone.

"Perhaps." The faint smile she wore on her cherry red lips betrayed her attempt at a cryptic answer.

"Sadist!- Ow!"

"Watch your tongue. Now, let's make these a tiny bit harder shall we? These are your last few questions, so try to answer them with your full capability."

"Yes, Othinus-Sensei…" His lackluster reply earned him a sharp glare.

"Yes, Othinus-Sensei!" One of his hands quickly shot to his brow in a stiff salute. The comic tears streaming down his face did not make his appearance any less pathetic.

"What is the name for a line of poetry with twelve syllables consisting regularly of six iambic feet, with a pause after the third?"

"I-iambic feet? U-Uuuh...Ow!" First strike.

"To the nearest hundred. What is the square area of Tokyo City in metres?"

"2000!" The raven haired boy shouted his answer, but was met with his second strike.

"Tokyo City. Not the overall Tokyo area."

"Ngh...Alright, that one's on me."

"An egg's shell is what percentage of its total weight?"

"How is this academic in any way!? Uhhh...30%? Ow!" Third strike.

"13, the same amount of braincells you have in your head."

"...Well that was just rude."

"What colour are the panties of Princess Carrissa? Bonus points if you can tell me her cup size."

"Am I even supposed to be able to answer these!? You're nothing but a heartless sadist! How do I answer that without raising a death flag the size of a country? And now we have a point system!?" Even with his continuous protests, the boy still received his fourth strike. He held the various parts of his body that the heartless tyrant of a girl had struck. More and more he believed this was a form of hell he was forced to endure for some reason or another.

_'How heavily has this Kamijou sinned to deserve this punishment?'_

"Alright, last question. I think you've had enough for now."

"Thank you Sensei!" Not even wasting a second, the boy bowed his head in thanks. His spirit utterly defeated at this point.

"Now. When is my birthday? Exact date." The previously stern looking girl held a mischievous expression as the question rolled off her venomous tongue.

She cursed him. She cursed him with that simple question. He couldn't answer that! That was such a loaded question! It didn't help that he knew the answer to it!

"..." His pride demanded even a small victory. But he knew fully well what answering such a question would entail. He knew what misfortune would befall him once he utters the date.

"I…..uhm…" He turned his gaze to the side, a nervous sweat coating his brow. It showed well the conflicted nature of his being.

He either gets it wrong and suffers another painful strike from the woman, or he answers the question correctly, and receives a beating. Not to mention the added misfortune for insinuating this bombshell of a female was anything but beautiful and young. She did not look like the age her number told. Saying she was technically 'old' would cause a greater calamity than he would be able to face.

But taking the first option would mean to deny her an answer, effectively leaving her unsatisfied and suspicious of his true belief.

If she were her 15cm self, he could risk the second option. But now…

She stood waiting, sitting on the desk in front of his, her long seductive legs tantalisingly dangling from her skirt, her white buttoned up blouse stretching across her chest as she leaned into her shoulder, golden hair draping over it with a look of amusement lining her red lips and that enchanting, single green eye.

"So?" She inquired cheekily. "Tell me your answer Mr. Kamijou."

"...that's a loaded question and you know it…"

"Perhaps." She answered, whilst her laced legs gently shifted position. As they crossed each other once again, Kamijou could catch a glimpse of something 'sacred' between the short-lived gap her legs had made.

_'Garter belt. Black garter belt panties.'_

Kamijou quickly averted his gaze, fearing he might get caught admiring her. "W-Well, you see… this Kamijou-san believes age isn't something that important. People should look within for their answer or…something like that… Ehehe..." The very smooth Kamijou continued to look anywhere else but the dazzling woman. His cheeks were dusted red as the awkwardness overtook his ability to think properly.

"Is that so? So you're saying I have nothing external to offer at all?"

Kamijou stiffened. Turning to the girl and frantically waving off her statement. "No no no no no! I'm not implying anything like that! In fact, Othinus-Sensei is...is..umm…" As he thought for a word to use, his eyes laid open in a trance. His eyes stayed glued to the woman, captivated by the silhouette of her body and the outfit that hugged it so tightly.

She then leaned forward. Her legs coming undone as she gripped the edge of the desk she sat on. Providing her an anchor so she could get up right in his face.

"I'm what… Kamijou Touma-kuuuun~…?" With her face so close to his, the very way she stretched out his name in that venomously seductive voice sent shivers down his spine. He hadn't heard her utter his name in such a way before, and rolling off her tongue it sounded almost heavenly.

He started to mumble again, eyes erratically scanning a way out of this situation. But when her hands suddenly slammed themselves on either side of his desk, effectively trapping his body, his whole face exploded into a sea of red. She was really close.

"A-Abababababababababa-!"

The incoherent babble earned him a soft chuckle from the suddenly aggressive blonde. The tender chime bringing him even deeper down his nonsensical thought pattern with the proximity of her lips to his own not providing much ease to his short-circuiting brain..

"While your idiotic behaviour is charming. I still want to hear 'what' exactly you were trying to say… give me your answer Kamijou…"

Once again, her tone of voice sent the hormonal teen into LaLa land. Although he had managed to force some reason to reach his mind.

So, with baited breath, and a perpetual blush to his cheeks, he started to speak.

"Y-Y-You-"

_"You?"_

"Sensei! Sensei is… Sensei is…undeniably young…and beautiful…" His words were but a whisper, but that seemed to satisfy the domineering blonde who now wore a satisfied grin across her face.

"That's what I like to hear. Good boy." The words made him flinch.

Then. She roughly pulled on his school uniform, tossing him into the open chair by their side and effortlessly mounting his lap.

Kamijou reacted as well as one would expect, his arms froze in the air, fingers twitching as he feared for his safety were he to touch the body of his sadistic sensei. Not helping his melting brain was how the black pencil skirt she wore hiked up her spread legs as she took her seat on his lap. The garter belts of her thin nylon stockings exposing themselves.

"With the punishment you endured, I think a little reward is in order. So don't be shy, and grab on…" She purred the words into his ear, letting a tender exhale into his ear canal which sent the boy into another incoherent fit of babble.

Nevertheless, the woman grabbed hold of his frightened hands and guided them to her waist. She made sure his fingers sunk deep into her sides before her arms sailed around his neck.

"Look at me." She commanded.

After a second or two he spent regaining his composure, the embarrassed and quite frightened Kamijou moved his reluctant eyes towards the face of his compatriot. She stared back intently, a somewhat concerning smirk on her lips.

"Would you like Sensei to teach you about the wonders of the human body?" Her bold question escalated his already beating heart, his hands trying to tear away from her body but quickly rethinking the idea when he saw her scowl.

"I- Don't-... I-I'm not sure I'm ready. My poor heart is threatening to explode the more I process my current situation."

"How cute." A moment later, her cherry red lipstick left a mark on his nose. A small action that resounded heavily in the boy's teenage mind. "Don't worry about anything. Just let Sensei guide your little virgin hands to the right positions."

"Hey! I'm no-... Ok, you got me. But still I-" His words were promptly silenced by an unexpected kiss on the lips. Sweet, fragrant tastes melded together in his mouth, the tongue of the tyrant making quick work of the last reasonable thoughts remaining in his mind.

After bestowing him with something that would not fade from his mind for a while, the woman pulled herself away with an annoyed expression on her brow.

"Honestly, shut up and listen to your tutor." A loud crack brought him to reality when Othinus struck the riding crop in her hand against the empty desk. "Behave and you won't be receiving any punishments. So sit back, relax and let the lecture begin."

Leaning back into his lap, the blonde took her hands away from the boy. They found their way to a button on her blouse, quickly undoing it in order to expose the first bit of black that peeked under her top.

Kamijou's eyes followed her slender fingers as they continued to pop off more of the buttons from her blouse. The second and third opened up to reveal the silver hook connecting the two black laced cups together. The fourth and fifth spread the shirt even further apart and exposed the toned abdomen of the straddling woman. Finally, she undid the sixth and seventh one. Having to untuck the white blouse out of her tight skirt that now solely covered the lower part of her toned stomach.

Kamijou closed his eyes and looked to the heavens,

_'I take back my previous words. I don't care how much I have sinned, I will do it again simply to have this sight grace me more in my unfortunate life. Thank you, oh great not-so-tiny-anymore God Othinus.'_

His eyes landed on her attention seeking figure. Her fair skin begging him to take notice of every shaded curve and prominent line on her upper body.

Her hands moved again. His body stiffened when the surprisingly cold tips of her fingers brushed against his jawline. They traced a line down his neck, a lump in his throat following her descent.

She stopped at his white collar. Tugging on its sides to surprise the boy with another mind-melting kiss.

This time, he felt bolder, his hands finally gaining movement and lightly careening up her bare waist. They stopped by the base of her ribs, falling back down as he repeated the action while the blonde kept savouring his mouth with her own.

Unnoticeably, she undid the buttons of his shirt. One by one they came undone. Her wicked tongue stealing his attention and making his mind focus on nothing but that blissful sensation.

She pulled herself back. A thin, translucent line of saliva linking their lips between the short space created between them. Once more they gazed into each other's eyes, lost within the budding passion of their actions.

"Tell me, boy. What do you want to experience more?" Her hands held onto the open folds of his shirt. Tugging at them to garner his interest.

"My lips…" Forcefully, she made contact with the meat of his neck, suckling on the length of its most prominent vein. Leaving a trail of red lipstick that drew soft and shallow grunts from the attentive Kamijou.

"Or my hands…" Cold fingertips snuck their way below the teen's orange undershirt. Rising gently, they brushed against his toned stomach, climbing towards his chest and taking the hem of his shirt along for the ride. Revealing more of his upper body as her hand rose to caress his chest.

He couldn't follow the events with a calm mind. More and more his face reddened, more and more his heart thumped violently. Drawing another chuckle from the mounted educator.

"Or maybe...more~?"

Her hand then started to descend.

Lowering back down the path it had taken, but not to release the boy from its clutches. Instead, a sudden grip on his groin made the boy jump in surprise.

"O-Oi! Sensei is moving a little too fast for this poor Kamijou's heart to bare! I'm a virgin, so please go gentle on me!" Saying that quickly killed any sense of pride he had left.

"Isn't that something a girl should be saying? You really are a pathetic human."

"I don't want to hear that from a sadist like you! You're the one who put me in this situation in the first place." He growled in response, trying to regain that shot pride he had lost with his 'cherry boy' acknowledgement.

"So you're not enjoying yourself?" Her hand pressed down on his nether region. Bringing another gasp to escape him.

"I-I wouldn't say that…" Truth be told. He found the situation very enticing. Othinus was a beauty second to none, and denying himself what she was selling would get him killed by the male side of his brain. He knew very well how much he wanted it. But he would never let her know that.

"Oh? So you wouldn't mind my hand staying right where it is?"

Although, if she asked nicely, who was he to deny her?

"...N-No...I wouldn't mind..." He whispered out with a hint of shame permeating through his words.

"I didn't quite catch that. Mind repeating yourself?" The vixen drew out her words. Tenderly teasing his soul into giving her the desired reply.

"I... wouldn't mind."

"Repeat."

"I wouldn't mind."

"Again."

"I wouldn't mind!" He shouted out, receiving a finger to his lips a second later.

"No need to shout. Good boy." She rewarded his honesty with another kiss. Her free hand guiding his to the bare skin of her stomach, pulling it upwards to the point his fingers dug underneath her black, laced bra. She set his hand atop her breast, leaving it there while her's found itself combing his spiky, black hair.

"And I don't mind if yours stayed there."

She was playing him like a fiddle. Toying with his emotions and conducting the actions of his body to her pleasure. She had him in the palm of her hand, literally and figuratively.

"Tell me, boy. Do you want my body for yourself?"

He looked to the side, red painting his face as the shameful thoughts of his invaded the forefront of his mind.

"...Yes Othinus…" Again, he mumbled out.

"Louder."

"Yes, Othinus." He said with a newfound voice.

"Who are those pitiful words for? Tell Sensei exactly what you desire." With her last request, she bit into his ear. Gasping arousingly as the hand on her breast reflexively tightened.

"Yes Sensei! I want you!"

"Once more...with vigour." She purred.

He tightened his hold on her body, determination in his eyes as he took in a breath, preparing to proclaim his most craving desire

He parted his lips, steeled his resolve and closed his eyes as he got ready.

And then…

* * *

"I want your body Sensei!"

He said it, he uttered his deepest, most frustrating desire to the blonde who had urged him on to the point of breaking.

He shouted his resolve to the heavens, proclaiming it with all his glory. His need for his rightful reward.

But...

"E-Eh? W-W-W-What d-do you mean Kamijou-chan!? W-We c-can't do that!...no matter how much Sensei actually wants it..."

"Huh?"

A timid shriek filled his ears. A voice that sounded nothing like the seductively venomous one that forced him to accept his masculine needs. It was small, lacking the previous authority. And most of all, it sounded eerily familiar.

He opened his eyes.

_'Kill me now.'_

The red, steaming face of his loli homeroom teacher met his deadpan stare.

The book she held in her hand fell out of it from pure shock, the stick of chalk she was using to draw some form of diagram having snapped in half. Her face was utterly dumbfounded

But worst of all, were the judging and disgusted faces of his peers. All looking at the teen who had suddenly stood up and proclaimed with a vigorous shout, his desire for the body of their small homeroom teacher.

"I KNEW IT! Bare witness to the true nature of the Kami-yan disease! Fellow classmates, we can't let this man steal the hearts of all the girls he sets his perverted sights on! Unite! And help me take down this fiendish criminal!" Aogami Pierce made his statement as he stood to attention. Pointing an accusing finger at the poor confused boy once more.

_'But, it was so real..'_

"Death to Kamijou Touma, nya!" Tsuchimikado Motoharu stood up as well. Exclaiming the words that would start a classroom wide chant.

"DEATH TO THE KAMIJOU BLOODLINE!" All of the male populace chanted in unison.

_'WAS IT JUST A DREAM AFTER ALL!?'_

A fist quickly descended on the two idiots. Effectively knocking them out in one blow.

"Shut up you neanderthals! Can't you see Komoe-sensei is in a state of shock! She doesn't need you idiots adding to it!" The righteous Iron Wall Girl stood above the two Delta Force members, who were too out of it to even register her words. Though it did serve to calm the rest of the class.

"And you!" She turned to the unfortunate Kamijou who was beginning to pale immensely as realisation set in on his actions.

_'WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO!?'_

"Explain yourself you pervert! And cover up your sick indecency!"

Kamijou didn't know what she meant. But when he collected himself, he felt it.

The tent.

The tent had been raised in the pants of one quickly reddening Kamijou. And he was standing up. With all eyes on him, even the very shocked girls took notice of this precarious predicament. Most turned away, some continued to stare, and a few passed out.

Kamijou scrambled his hands to cover his lower half. But a sharp pain exploded in his shoulder. He quickly realised he was not in the injury free state of his dream world self.

The broken collarbone prevented his left hand from moving. Shooting pain into his body from trying, so he made do with his other one.

"I-I-I-I can explain! There was this tall sexy teacher version of Othinus, and you see- She...umm- I-!"

"Prepare yourself…" Contrary to her previous statement. Fukiyouse didn't let the boy explain himself. She approached him dangerously. Her knuckles cracking, face filled with furious rage.

"W-Wait! I just got out of the hospital! Wait! Fukiyouse-san! Nooooooooooooo!" One swift haymaker dropped the boy to the dirty ground.

He looked on as a riot of boys started to stand up to get in on the action, but all were quickly dispatched by the Iron Wall Girl.

_'How did this happen…?'_

An orange container rolled to stop at his face. The same bottle of pills he got this morning from the frog-faced doctor which dropped out of his pocket from the sheer force of the punch.

He took the bottle, turning it to see the label on the back.

"WARNING: Symptoms may include; a sense of grogginess and lack of energy, short periods of insomnia and a contrasting case of very lucid dreams."

"Ah….."

That explains it.

"SUCH MISFO-BLEGH!" The Iron Wall Girl had finished dealing with the distractions. Providing the boy with another injury to add to his list.

It would not be the last.

* * *

**AN: Greetings dear readers. Welcome to the bottom. Hopefully you felt more satisfied than out favourite misfortune magnet.**

**Anyway****, what did you think? I've been brewing a lot of ideas since the last time I uploaded. Especially do to my interactions in the Kamachiland discord server, where creativity is as abundant as air. Well, for some that is…. looking at you lazyasses.**

**Nevertheless****, the idea came to me during a re-read of NT9. Where in one of the phases, she lectured Kamijou in a classroom about his individuality. The image of a sexy, pencil skirt wearing Othinus flashed in my mind and then I realised what I must do. But I struggled in creating a plot for the thing I wanted to write.**

**In**** came the drugs. NO. Not in that way. I meant the medical ones Kamijou takes in this fic. I always wondered how certain stimulants would cause our boy to behave. Alcohol, Weed, Pills and so on. All interesting possibilities I wanted to explore for the sake of comedy.**

**But**** then I thought. Lucid dreams. A common side effects of certain drugs.**

**So**** I rolled with it, and out came this.****Might make it a two-shot...or seven.****Much thanks to the people who have encouraged and helped me find my groove in writing again. Beta-ing for others stirred a lot of things in my mind that helped me regain the will to write for myself.**

**Which**** might mean I will update the next chapter of A Certain Former Hero some time soon. It's been sitting at 4k words for 8 months….shit.**

**All**** in all, thank you for reading. Looking forward to the reviews and any ideas you might suggest for a possible future chapter of Kamijou's Dreamland Adventures.**

**Until**** next time.**

**Tootles~**

**This**** nearly turned into a smut story...I need to restrain myself.**


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